Games of love.

Why do we fall in love?
Growing up , I always found myself being alone , my company was all I needed to survive.
Survival is an interesting word. I believe that we are hard wired , to live/mate with someone of the opposite sex in order to increase of chances of survival.

But the question that haunts , and plague my mind is not of the provenance/origins of love; But rather the mechanism of love.

the how? rather then the where ? interests me.

I watch myself attracted to women of similar background.

( to be continued )

Being in control.

" The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." I find this to be very true.

Looking at myself in the mirror , I am reminded how humans can be so vain. So I close my eyes , Ignore what I see , and smile.

" Shapes , Forms , Textures" , all these things are the measure of one's value in our society. I am not one of these people who do not appreciate beauty , I do ; but I believe that beauty should reflect something more deep. What exactly ? This , I do not know ; But I know that it exist , It is out there. This inner beauty that humans speak of. This inner beauty thing might might be bullshit , but if the way we are currently judging people correct , the kill me right now.

Sometimes I just feel like I am in a constant transient form , Sleeping while been awake. It is a very weird feeling. A feeling where you can't tell who is who. Friends from foes. What you are doing , and where you are heading. A state of total confusion.
Some days , I just feel like been disconnected from everything , and everyone.

But that is the challenge isn't it ? Keeping your sanity while been in this sort of matrix.
keeping your integrity while playing a dirty game ?